3/23/2023 0 Comments Dont date upAnyway, what am I supposed to do? How do I love as a brown body in the world in a way that makes everybody happy? I fell for a white woman and she fell for me - simple as that - yet I feel as if I’m doing the wrong thing by dating her.Īm I the problem or is everyone else? Do white women find me attractive or do they see me as some exotic idea they should find attractive? Do I find white women attractive or do I see them as some exotic idea I should find attractive? Do I even know whom I’m attracted to or why? How did we get here? If everyone is so woke, why are things so terrible? Maybe everyone isn’t so woke. Yes, society seems to want to embrace a lot of things associated with blackness without actually being black. Yes, the black body has done more for society than it has gotten in return. Like: Yes, our bodies have been colonized. I started reading James Baldwin, Ta-Nehisi Coates and other black and brown authors looking for guidance, a road map, help on what it means to be a brown man in the world. Along with each watchful eye, the whispers of, “Pick a side, Chris, pick a side,” fill my already noisy mind. I see people watching me with a stink eye, noses turned up, as if they think black and brown people would somehow be better off if I dumped my white girlfriend. Like I’m betraying my people if I date white women.īut I was taught that we were all one people! Which means that in the eyes of others, the color of the women I date is a big deal. To be aware of the implications of whom you’re attracted to and why. It’s because in today’s hashtag-woke society, there is mad pressure to be hashtag-woke. I’ve been with people in grocery stores who point to the dulce de leche and say, “Look, Chris, that’s you.” Actually, I’m lactose intolerant.īut the real reason I think I can no longer date white women isn’t any of that. So is the father who opened the door and said, “Sorry, it’s not taco night,” and then closed it in my face, only to open it again because he was “just joking.” Yeah, for sure, that’s a great movie, but so is “Gladiator.”Īnd the ones who asked me if I speak Mexican. Or the ones who said upon meeting me, “Oh, I love ‘Buena Vista Social Club.’” Like the ones who - even after I’d been dating their daughter for six months - kept thinking I was from Puerto Rico. I also got weird vibes from some white people, namely the parents of the women I was dating. My pops would explain that as a young man in the Dominican Republic, you had to work so hard perfecting yourself, preparing your mask, so that when a young European or American woman came through, she might choose you, as he would put it, might take you home with her, like that was your only way out. A fresh shave followed by a ton of cologne (he’s Dominican, and it’s important to him that people know he’s coming, and know he’s there), and then blow-drying his hair to get that perfect coif.Įven years later, my pops still took longer to get ready than my mother and sister combined, delicately taking a black Sharpie to any stray grays that might pop up in his goatee. He would spend hours preparing his mask every morning for whatever crowd, person or community he faced. Actually, no, I definitely broke up with her because she’s white.įirst, some history: When I was a child, watching my pops get ready to go out was something to behold. I think I broke up with my last girlfriend because she’s white.
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